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Sarcastic Answers To Questions
Have you ever been annoyed with everyday questions? Here are some random answers to annoy the questionare!
|Are you OK?|| Oh, yeah. Its just the anal probe that my alien buddies gave me. |
Let's look at the time: seven-thirty AM. NO! I'm not ok during school hours. I suggest you keep your distance if you like your head connected to your body.
Well, I was. Until you showed up.
Yes I just like to bleed for fun
|What's wrong?|| My boyfriend just dumped me, my dog died, and I just got fired, that's all. O did I mention that a giant meteor is hurtling towards Earth at an alarming rate?? |
You're here, thats whats wrong!
I just watched Miley Cyrus dancing on a pole dressed like she's twenty-two. I think I'm gonna hurl. -BLEH- Opps. Sorry about your new shoes.
|-poke- Does that hurt?-poke-||-slaps across face- I don't know, does that?||Vanette2|
|Would you jump off of a bridge?|| I don't know, what color is it? It's all about the color, man! |
Well, as long as you dont jump off with me, I will do it.
| Vanette2 and faithfulllamaluvr|
| -stares at sleeping person- |
Are you sleeping?
| Well, no I was sleeping!! I'm not sleeping now!! Thanks for the warning!!Get lost you dip stick!|
If you ever want to wake up again, I'd move.
| -watching a person stuff their face with food- |
Is that good?
| It tastes like dog food, yes its good u freak! |
No, not at all. Tastes horrific, actually. *le poker face*
|Are we there yet?|| When we get to lala land were there! Of course were not there! |
Ya we passed it an hour ago. I'm just looking for a parking spot.
Faithfulllamaluvr and Vanette2
| -dead silence- |
Why are we so quiet?
| Well, it's because we don't like your voice so shut up!! |
Because there's a giant sleeping bear ready to eat your face!
|Where'd you get your shirt?|| At the dump. Why where do you get yours? |
A hobo gave it to me as a christmas present.
Your closet. I stole it while you were on vacation. I hope you don't mind but I make it look good.
Your mom's underwear drawer.
|Is that a good book?|| NO!! Now shut up, I'm reading. |
-bites- No. Tastes like the library. Ew.
|Why are you crying?|| Because I'm looking at you! |
|How's the weather?|| Like your face, it's scary! |
Well, it would be better if you moved far, far, FAR away.
Fairer than you'll ever be, I suppose.
|Hey, why do I smell skunk??|| Because I farted!! Gosh why do you think?? |
Umm because the questionare is smelly?
faithfulllamaluvr (its lame I know)
|Who didn't put their name on a paper?? -teacher asks-|| -raises hand and starts crying- |
I'm sorry we couldn't afford a name!
-runs around in circles-
Me! Me! Me! I'm annonymous!!! I'm annonymous!!! Oh, shoot. I'm not annonymous anymore, am I?
| Raise your hand if you're not here. |
| -waves hand wildly- Does this mean I can go home?? |
*raises hand* Oh, me! Me, me, me; pick me!
| -room filled with kids- |
Anyone in here?
| Yes, and I'm in the shower |
WHERE'S WALDO?!?!?!?! I thought he was by the fat kid next to the wall!! Man! That guy owes me 5 bucks!
|Ewww! What is that?|| Oh...thats just my mom. |
Sorry! Sorry everyone! Bad Justine, bad. Go lay down.
Don't talk about yourself like that!! I know your confidence level isn't very strong, but don't bring yourself down even worse.
|What's up?|| Your weight. |
The price of gas.
Well, I can tell that your grade point average isn't one of the above.
*stares at the person's forehead* Nothing, apparently.
| How old are you? |
Do you like me?
| 2 billion. |
Well, I've meet the actual Barney the dinosaur so I guess that makes me old ok?!?!
|What'd you get on your report card?||Well, I got grades why? What, you thought I got grapes???||Luv2bball105|
|If I was reincarted as an animal what kind would I be?||Well right about now you smell like you could be a monkey.||Llamalova|
|What did you do last night?|| Well, you could expect me to answer with I had dinner, but then you would ask what I had. Then I would have to tell you that I ate every last bit of the place you call "my brain" but then the question would become completely stupidious. |
Your mom. *le poker face*
| What's for dinner Mommy? |
-little boy asks his mom-
|I think it's time your father and I tell you the truth..... The meat you've been eating the past three days was the missing librarian. We finished it yesterday so we won't be eating until Daddy finds someone else who needs to go missing. Until then, the branches off the willow tree out back will have to do since we can't afford anything else with this ecomony.||Luv2bball105|
|"Would you like a table?"||"No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please." |
Nah, it's okay. Chairs all around will be fine for us. Oh, and do bring out the wine. Thanks.
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